Portraits: Idea Generation, Research & Initial Plan

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Theme: Identity.

From the outset, I knew that I didn't necessarily want to have my single portrait represent myself, but I considered doing a concept that I could personally relate to, as well as the subject. This would ensure that we'd be on the same page and be able to discuss the idea in depth before and during the photoshoot, elavating the impact of the final photo because of the connection formed beforehand. 

I began by thinking about what I have in common with the potential model I'd be working with - it would be a young person (in the same generation) who had a familiar 21st century experience influenced by connectivity, social media and the mental health effects of this bizarre modern reality. This gave me the idea of exploring how one's identity is affected by mental health issues, and how it can be difficult to discern where your identity ends and illness begins. One such growingly common ailment, unfortunately, is depression. Some statistics I found relevant include:

Common mental disorders (CMDs) have increased generationally both worldwide and in the UK specifically. Online, people often open up about their mental health and/or deal with depression through humour - it is common to see memes about depression, anxiety, etc. Researchers are endlessly studying the potential causes of this, but regarding this portrait concept, I'm more interested in how it relates to recognising yourself as yourself. In other words, how does depression impact one's concept of identity? Where are the lines drawn between one's personality, emotional issues and psychological disorder?
Here is my initial brainstorm:

Coloured bath is a photoshoot technique I was contemplating for this project, as I'm drawn to the surreal/fantasy aesthetic it achieves, as well as its scope for more creative set design, things that previously covered fashion photographer Tim Walker excels in. Dark portraiture is also appealing to me because I believe it can sometimes be a catharsis to look at and make pictures that visualise one's emotional state or painful memories, things that can greatly impact a person's identity (depending on how much they draw from experiences, how often they are in a certain mood, etc). Below is a collage of the most relevant images from my research and composition/lighting sketches of what a potential final image would look like; black tinted water would represent one's mental illness, the person's face represents the sufferer's identity 'drowning' in their issues, and eyeliner/face paint 'bleeding' into it would represent the struggle to distinguish the two. There needs to be a personal element to it so that the final photo would echo the model's own voice, so  I would have a sensitive conversation with my collaborator about punctuating elements of their mental health experience, i.e. what kept them 'afloat' (congruent to visual water metaphor)? What did they use to combat unhelpful thinking habits? What did they develop positive/negative associations with? What objects most remind them of their worst periods?

Haunting editorial/fine art/fashion/vent art portraits.



Earlier this month I ordered a black bath bomb from an Etsy store and secured a backup model (by way of roping a friend into it), in case nobody else I asked would be willing. Due to the pandemic, I was wary of asking people outside of my bubble to do the shoot, since it involves coming into the house and being in the bath unmasked. Nonetheless, I decided to put out a call on the UCA and FDA Discord servers to at least register potential interest whilst making plans regarding ventilation, mask usage, etc. This got me a response, followed by an illuminating conversation about the struggles of Bipolar Type 1.

The volunteer shared that they find comfort in nature and that going on walks helps them cope with the turbulence of the disorder, mentioning a dried rose gifted to them by a friend that sits on their desk, reminding them to stay grounded. Floating flowers and petals are often seen in bath photography, so this concept works well. We talked about the colours that symbolise their manic and depressive states, uncovering a respective dichotomy of yellow/orange and navy/black. These are conducive to a complimentary or split complimentary colour scheme, which I wanted to execute through lighting. I ordered some colour gels and asked my friend to show me how to set up their continuous lighting kit, which they generously agreed to lend me for the shoot. I plan on using the softbox rather than the umbrella for slightly more directional light, as well as my bendy LED desk lamp and maybe a reflector - will experiment with the bathroom's ceiling light during the shoot to see whether or not it works with the image. Without question, I'll do a risk assessment beforehand and implement ways to secure all electrical equipment so that it doesn't come into contact with the water, endangering the model. The bath will be filled to a moderately low depth, so as to minimise discomfort for the model staying afloat and lessen the chance of water spilling out, potentially making surfaces unsafely slippery or damaging equipment. I will shoot in .RAW for wider colour and luminosity range to maximise overall image quality. Here is a proposed sketch of the photoshoot setup:

Makeup-wise, any application on the model's face needs to be waterproof or resistant at least, so I intend to buy some waterproof liquid eyeliner. This will allow me to paint more intricate detail in the streaks flowing into the water and exert finer control over the outcome. At first, I considered black sclera lenses for the model as they would match the black bathwater, representing the inner darkness of identity at war with mental illness, but they require a doctor's prescription and unattainable funds, plus they carry unnecessary risks to the model. Since the brief specifies that we cannot use post-production, I had to abandon this idea and settle for creative makeup art.

Props needed include flowers, leaves and petals. Since the bathwater will be black and yellow is the colour associated with the energy of manic states, yellow roses seem like an appropriate choice. I ordered a can of Scotchgard water repellent spray for coating the petals to prevent them fom sinking/wilting prematurely. For costume, the model should wear a plain black t-shirt which they don't mind getting soaked in, as this will be less distracting and recede into the abyssal black bathwater. Poses are open-ended; I'd like to capture the most meaningful image from the shoot, where the model sincerely connects with the concept, so beside some general direction inspired by the researched images collaged above, I'll be asking them to feel the scene and interact with the water/props.

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